A dear friend and previous coach, Sophie Macklin (who just opened 10 spots for "Fuck you patriarchy, I'm going to claim what I need to thrive" coaching sessions which I highly recommend), asks me this simple question a lot:
She asks me this when I'm caught in a state of anxious confusion, usually wanting to find some "right" answer that will make me a "good" person. For example, I might be going on to her about "well, I think that this person might think XYZ thing about me and I'm really wanting to create more ease in our relationship, so maybe I should say XYZ thing... what do you think?"
To which she'll throw the ball back in my court by asking me what's true... which, to some extent, can feel infuriating. What is truth? How can I even know?
And, sitting with this lack of knowing can feel like a relief, because it's being real about lack of certainty.
What's super true is that I don't know.
And at the same time, the question cuts through the bullshit to what I do know. Because we all do have some truths that we carry within ourselves. (Paradoxically, I actually wrote about how you DO KNOW yesterday in a new daily Queer Body Love blog that I just started.)
Holding the paradoxes of knowing and not knowing is part of being human.
It can create so much more freedom and flexibility in how we move through life when we embrace this simple truth -- that there's much that we know (in a variety of ways), and much that we don't.
From this place of embracing ambiguity, the question I've been asking myself is what liberation (personal and collective, because we can't truly have personal liberation without collective liberation) looks like. To be honest, I feel very far from knowing that truth.
And, at the same time, there have been some core tenants and ideas from feminist, fat and queer theory as well as spiritual paths, that have created a sense of much deeper worthiness in myself, which to me has felt like a taste of freedom.
That's what I want for you.
Despite and in the midst of all the confusion of how we navigate this confusing world, I want you to have some relief.
I believe that relief can come from a mix of some perspectives, some tools, and community. Other people to sit with you as you share and unpack what's true for you.
Next week, I'd like to offer that to you in the form of two free Queer Body Love Webinars.
- Tuesday, November 7th, 6 pm PST / 9 pm EST / Wednesday, November 8th at noon ACT (Australia)
- Friday, November 10th, 11:00 am PST / 2:00 pm EST / 7:00 pm GMT (UK time)
By clicking on the link below you can sign up to access either one.
I so look forward to having you! And please, feel free to invite friends by sending them the link to sign up as well: https://www.elizabethjcooper.com/webinar. If this Queer Body Love work and community is doing it for you, spread the love :)
This is one entry in the November Queer Body Love daily blog writing, where I will be exploring through writing what I see, think, pray, and question. I don’t know what liberation looks like, but I want that for you, and for us. This blog is me sharing a personal practice of being with the question of what that might look like in the hopes that it might be useful. If you're interested in personal support from me as your guide as you explore that in your own body and life, check out my newest 1-on-1 offering, SOFTEN. I can sit with you with so much love and compassion as you orient in the direction of more ease and comfort in your body and with yourself. Together we'll take a stand for new possibilities.