my wishes for you in 2018

my wishes for you in 2018

On Monday, January 1st, I challenged you to follow what you truly desire in 2018.

Today, I would like to share what I wish for you, based on what I think I know about you based on you being on this list ;)

My overreaching desire is for you to rewrite the story that in the new year there is ANY reason for you to create a "new you." YOU - at your core - are fundamentally enough.

What about New Year, SAME you, more loving relationship to you?

Along those lines...

Here’s what I wish for you in 2018:

  • You call 3 friends, one after another, in a moment of crisis, both allowing yourself to have needs & knowing that they’re there for you
  • You see an advertisement that previously would have tripped you up, it doesn’t phase you, and then you realize that your internal landscape has shifted and you have better walls against the bullshit
  • You took a class in something that you’ve been meaning to try for ages but haven’t because you’re too old / it’s too silly / etc etc etc
  • You look in the mirror and say damn, you look fine!
  • You look in the mirror, don’t feel right about what you see, and are ever so kind to yourself in that moment, smiling with compassion at the fact that you allowed yourself to notice the disconnection
  • You hear something said that doesn’t feel “right”, and instead of letting it slide you have enough resilience to intrude in the moment to share your thoughts, even though it feels fucking hard
  • You go onto social media and see art, ideas and stories that reflect your experience and inspire you
  • You find that magical accessory that feels so YOU and supports you shining bright in the world
  • You host a five course dinner party and feel well-nourished by the food, company and experience
  • You have a moment at work where you feel aligned & seen for what you bring & who you are
  • You go to sleep at night after a day of doing exactly what you want to do
  • You say no to something that is hard to say no to and feel the pride & relief at doing so
  • You consider collective needs when making your choices while also honoring what you need as a critical part of that community
  • You feel that you are enough

In reading my wishes, notice what they spark in you, and feel free to use any of these as inspiration and jumping off points for your own thinking and visioning for 2018.

Wishing you softness & strength in 2018.

My challenge to you in 2018

My challenge to you in 2018

Happy New Year!

This is a time where there is cultural energy towards fresh starts and also really damaging stories that you're not good enough.

It's a time where you can chose to honor, celebrate and to chose.

To be intentional and also invite magic. To know you're not alone, and to ask for support around what you truly want.

Here's my challenge to you -- follow what you truly desire in 2018. And if you don't know, create space to stop and listen.

If you feel creeping "should" energy around how you're approaching the new year, or thinking that who you were or what you did last year wasn't good enough... stop. Cut it out.

Cut the bullshit.

You're enough.

To help you connect to that truth, as you look towards 2018, look back to the moments when you felt like you. When you felt seen. When you felt connected to what you want. Even if they're just glimmers. And move from that place.

That doesn't mean ignoring what needs to change.

Connecting to enoughness does not mean apathy or turning away from reality. It means being really present with reality.

When we accept reality as its unfolding, we can meet the moment with that much more strength and resilience.

So... I just told you to reflect & dream. And guess what... I haven't done that yet! I have a little background noise of scolding within myself that I'm not a good self development oriented person for not doing this yet. And... it's actually okay. I know the moment will come for that reflection and visioning. It hasn't been right for me in my life yet.

We can let the cultural energy of the New Year support us with fresh starts if and when its helpful -- but let's not allow it to become an unhelpful power over us, re-enforcing energies of what we "should" do.

In other words, don't let New Years energy become another oppressive, perfectionist voice of how you need to "do" New Years.

Let it support you, don't let it rule you.

And if you're like me and either haven't reflected on 2017 / visioned for 2018 or want to add to that process, I'll have more for you in the coming weeks. I like to think of the whole month as a chance to really harness collective forward motion.

Sending much love to you, and wishing you so much softness with yourself, your body and your people in 2018. We're going to need it to be strong.

My reminders to myself while being with family

While I spend a week at my parents' house, gathering with my immediate and extended family for Thanksgiving, I felt the need today to give myself some reminders.

A permission slip for myself, if you will.

I am allowed alone time.

I am allowed time to do what nourishes me most.

Leaning into dedicated me time, and virtual time with friends, is not selfish -- it can actually nourish the time I have with family so that I can be more clear and present.

I have opportunities -- many of them -- to see how I show up with the people who have been around me for most of my life, and with whom I have the deepest patterns.

I have the opportunity to notice.

To not put extra pressure on myself to immediately change everything, and also to notice when I am able to shift how I feel and act. To try on new ways of being as inspiration arises, and to not feel that I have to be or act in completely new ways.

I have the opportunity to celebrate the small moments.

Like asking my dad more questions instead of coming from a place of assumptions. Of adopting a curious stance to what lights him up and getting to see into his day-to-day life as the treasurer for the Hilton Head Heritage Library.

Like savoring time with my mom, talking about cultural appropriation over grilled cheese sandwiches with tomatoes.

Like receiving the joys of the hectic energy of lots of people making (and giving commentary) on brownie making.

I have the opportunity to learn where I've come from -- what I want to keep and what I want to shift.

One of my meditation teachers, Ethan Nichtern, and other spiritual teachers I've had, talk about how being with family is one of the most difficult arenas for spiritual practice. The last frontier. That if you feel like you're doing "really great" with your practice, maybe it's time to go home.

I am blessed in that I love my family and they're good to me. And, in many ways we're really different, and it can feel challenging.

I recognize and honor that people have a wide variety of familial and relational constructs, and sometimes it may be the most skillful decision to completely cut oneself off from one's family. Or talk everyday. Or somewhere in between.

Everybody's journey and what you'll need to remind yourself of is your own.

What do you need to remember when you're with family?